It has been an interesting experience this time when I got pregnant. Not only it happened so quickly but also it is so overwhelming. I am sitting at home trying to put Jaynann down for her nap. I love my family and having another baby is so good and exciting. I am afraid about many things in life and that really makes me cannot fall asleep at night. My mom is coming this Thursday, yeah to mama! She will be here for 2 weeks spending time with us 'cause she misses the baby sooooo much. I am also trying to work my magic to fly home with her or later with Ed. Don't know what will turn out. I am HOMESICK and worried that my family will think less of me. I don't want this baby to stop me from going back home and I don't want Ed's work or school to stop him from going either. It is hard and emotional and being pregnant isn't helping much either. I wish that Hevenly Father can work his magic for me once again but I feel like I always ask too much all the time. I don't know whether I have done enough to deserve it.
I haven't felt sick yet. Mornings have turn into our pajamas party. Jaynann and I sit and stare at the TV untill 11 am. I just don't really have energy or feel inspired. And here I am not taking my afternoon nap when I have a chance. I just don't want to. Time is so valuable that I want to do something else besides sleeping. I want to get a lot of houseworks done, get the outside cleaned up, go get some food, spend time with Jaynann on a walk, etc. I don't know where to begin so now I just want to write all my thoughts down so I can relax.
This is another random thought. If I have a girl, I will name her Clair or Layla (Justin told me to). For a boy, who knows. I like Seth, Sier, something short and handsome. I cannot wait to see what I am having inside me. It doesn't really matter. I just want one eventhough it means I am going to go crazy, weak, and emotional all the time. I like it! Being a mom is so rewarding. I am around 5 weeks pregants and I cannot wait to be over 20 some weeks pregnant. I want to look big and around. I know I am crazy but I love it. My last pregnancy with Jaynann was a bit rough. I just hope that this one will allow me to go home to see my family that I haven't long seen. Pray for me.
