I thought it would be easy.

Pregnancy is such a complicate thing, at least with me anyway. I am about 15 weeks pregnant and I have to say that there are times when I just want to quit and run away. I can't though. I am not a quiter, I said to myself seldom. Though I now lay and sit at home all day with Jaynann, can't drive or lift heavy things. I am certainly annoyed with myself. Time is hard, I have to say. But I am still proud to carry this baby. I am very fortunate to be able to be a mother. I love it every single minute. Now I am not able to fly home to visit my family. It makes me sad since I miss home so much. It is okay however, we can try later next year after the baby is born and well.

My 13 months little chick

I'd like to say that she is now my little chick. She is full of energy--she runs and play all day. I bet she hates having to take naps and go night night since the world is full of things to explore. She starts to look pretty like a little girl, no longer a baby. She talks and copies me a lot. She likes to dance and move along with the music. She also loves to read a lot. Giving kisses (Kusses) to her Easter doll is one of the funny things she does. Sometimes, Ed and I get lucky, she'd kiss us on the lips. She slips her tough in there, too. It is funny and yucky at the same time. Now she has about 11 teeths. I bet it bother her a bit when she bites. She walks really well on her own. At night, she starts to sleep though the night and gets up around 6 or 7 am to see dad leaves to work. Jaynann finally put smiles on her daddy face because she cries when he leaves to work. At the same time, it is sad to see him gone all the time. He also plays with her a lot more. They blows at each other faces, funny to watch. Today she gave me cunning eyes. It is cute!

poor child

This past week, Jaynann was sick, so sick that she stopped playing and eating for a week. Her Halloween experience didn't go so well. She couldn't stand the heat inside the bumble bee costume so she only lasted for about 30 mins. I felt so sad for her that she couldn't enjoy her birthday month. October was such as rough month this year. I am sure these pictures can better describe the emotion that week.

a walk to remember

Jaynann and I usually take an afternoon walk almost everyday. She likes to look at people and things. I guess it is relaxing to her because most of the time she would be asleep by the time we get home. Three weeks ago things happened, I was sick and had to be on bed rest and we also went on a trip to AZ and southern UT. Jaynann was less than one then and I didn't really spend much time with her. My mother did also come over to visit. Anyway, today Jaynann and I took a walk downtown. I look at my sweet child and thought today is a different day. She is now over one year old who can walk and say a few words. Two to three weeks ago Jayann wasn't able to do any of these things. What does it mean to me? It means that she is growing fast and soon before I know it she is going to run and talk in sentences. So where was I those past three weeks? I have to admit that I didn't spend much quality time with Jaynann. My mom helped me with taking care of her. I do definitely feel like I lost track of time. So today I had to get to know Jaynann again. At the moment I am holding her in my arm trying to comfort her as much as I can. Being pregnant at the same time makes it difficult for me to stay awake and focus. I usually feel sick around 2 pm till I go to bed, which means that Jaynann gets affected by my sickness. I don't play and chase her around like I used to. Soon Jaynann is going to be a big sister and I know she will be great at it.

At one year old, Jaynann is full of happiness. She loves me! I know because I feel it all the time. She obeys when I told her not to open the drawers or jump in the tub when I take a shower. It surprised me when Jaynann listens. I guess I wouldn't listen to my mother if she said no to me. She also likes to read--she starts reading even before opening the book. She also likes to walk since now it becomes her new thing to do. She navigates whoever is holding her hand to tell them to go a certain way. One day in Page, AZ. We were walking by the swimming pool. Jaynann walked toward the gate and didn't want to leave. She almost cried when we told her no. Yes, she loves to swim. It is her fearless activity when we travel. She swims like she knows how. I am so impressed when I see her in the water. Ed usually takes in on his shoulders and goes up and down in the water, Jaynann loves it. My baby is loving. She likes to smile to people. Even though she gets pretty shy around guys, she usually likes them a bit later after firthing with them. After grandma left today. Jaynann went to check her bed. She usually slept with her in the morning. My mom covered her head sometimes when she slept so Jaynann today opened a blanket. Except today grandma wasn't there under the cover anymore. It broke my heart since they became best of friends. She loved to play peekaboo with her and cuddle with her under the blanket. I am sure it is hard for my mother also to leave such a adorable baby who has such a loving heart. Anyway, I just miss seeing her smiles everytime my mother did something funny. I guess I pretty much described most of Jaynann's personalities. I just feel so warm when I think of her.

One her 1st birthday we bought her a kitty cupcake and a pinata. It was a big yellow bird filled with tons of daddy's goodies. She opened her presents with laughter and smiles. She was so happy. I looked at her and felt so proud to be her mom. She didn't eat her cupcake; I let her play with it until it turned into a big mess. Well, I guess some pictures can describe what happened that day. But all I want to say is I love Jaynann.

Being pregnant....again : )

It has been an interesting experience this time when I got pregnant. Not only it happened so quickly but also it is so overwhelming. I am sitting at home trying to put Jaynann down for her nap. I love my family and having another baby is so good and exciting. I am afraid about many things in life and that really makes me cannot fall asleep at night. My mom is coming this Thursday, yeah to mama! She will be here for 2 weeks spending time with us 'cause she misses the baby sooooo much. I am also trying to work my magic to fly home with her or later with Ed. Don't know what will turn out. I am HOMESICK and worried that my family will think less of me. I don't want this baby to stop me from going back home and I don't want Ed's work or school to stop him from going either. It is hard and emotional and being pregnant isn't helping much either. I wish that Hevenly Father can work his magic for me once again but I feel like I always ask too much all the time. I don't know whether I have done enough to deserve it.

I haven't felt sick yet. Mornings have turn into our pajamas party. Jaynann and I sit and stare at the TV untill 11 am. I just don't really have energy or feel inspired. And here I am not taking my afternoon nap when I have a chance. I just don't want to. Time is so valuable that I want to do something else besides sleeping. I want to get a lot of houseworks done, get the outside cleaned up, go get some food, spend time with Jaynann on a walk, etc. I don't know where to begin so now I just want to write all my thoughts down so I can relax.

This is another random thought. If I have a girl, I will name her Clair or Layla (Justin told me to). For a boy, who knows. I like Seth, Sier, something short and handsome. I cannot wait to see what I am having inside me. It doesn't really matter. I just want one eventhough it means I am going to go crazy, weak, and emotional all the time. I like it! Being a mom is so rewarding. I am around 5 weeks pregants and I cannot wait to be over 20 some weeks pregnant. I want to look big and around. I know I am crazy but I love it. My last pregnancy with Jaynann was a bit rough. I just hope that this one will allow me to go home to see my family that I haven't long seen. Pray for me.

What's it like huh?

Something funny about our family is we always find time to think of silly thing to say or to do to each other. It makes us think of one another when we are away. Like this one, I seldom call Ed "Edward" when he doesn't pay attention to my need. Recently in the Hewitt family, we have introduced a new word, "need." The word was brought up by Ed who thought the word "need" has interesting meanings. Isn't he interesting?! Not only Ed is a smart(a..) guy but also creative. He also has been using it around me to get me to pay attention to him. We both are like little kids who don't really want to grow up. Part of it because we miss our good old days being just the two of us. In the past, we surely paid real close attention to our needs which had brought joy to our marriage. Now Jaynann has join the party. Life has changed in many ways. It is wonderful, don't get me wrong. However, Ed and I have to really find time to reunite and hang out like old time. We rarely go on dates alone. Jaynann often comes along with. She is my little kangaroo, no joke. We enjoy having her with us. Plus we have a hard time finding babysiter who would put up with her mood swing. It is rough being a baby, ya know : > A simple solution to our busy life style and having a moody baby is to deal with it, have fun with it, and have a good attitute about it. I believe everything goes it own way. Can't be in control all the time. Try if can't, please deal with it with love and patient.

I call her Jaynann Brown

Well, let see. Jaynann is now almost 11 months. She takes a few steps, stands on her own, still picky, and very clingy. Like Ed always say "She is obsessed with mommy." She loves milkiness not solid food. She HATES sitting on her highchair, cannot sit there and be happy. She claws around the house and gets in the biggest troubles everyday. Most days, she likes to be held and follows me around the house....EVERYWHERE. I sometimes put her in the swing so she cannot escape.
Miss sassy pants also likes to stand. She thinks she is so good at it that she doesn't need to hold on to anything or anyone. She finds something around the house to play with and drag it around the house. Her favorite things to play with are toothbrushes (Ed's or hers not mine of couse), her comb or brush, and dirty laundry. It looks silly when she tries to immitate. Like Ed says again, "Just like mommy, except with brown hair and likes eatting bread."

Well, let's start a life....together

It started off with just Ed and I. Life was easy but not so much fun. So We decided to spice it up with adding another member. Time was right, why not?
I remember telling one of my best friends, Jaynann that I would name my first girl after her. Yap! I sure did. Jaynann came to us right when we needed her. Our lives have never the same since then.

If you know what I mean to give a life to someone who God has chosen especially for us. Ed and I cannot feel more happier. A few days before she came, I was more than anxious to see her. I remember not being able to fall asleep. Ed was up helping me and giving me blessing many nights. It was something nice and special, just for the two of us. I miss those days when he would tell me that he would take care of me. Even when I was really sick and on bed rest, he was always there.

when she came......

Jaynann Phailin Hewitt came to earth on October 18th, 2007 at 9.36 pm at the Utah Valley Regional Medical Hospital in Provo, Utah. She was 7 pounds 13 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long, big baby. I was a bit surprised when the nurse announced her measurement. I just wasn't sure that I ate that much, ya know. I took a first look at me and I thought how pretty she looked. She cried when the nurses took her to clean up. She stared at me like she has known me for ages. I thought it was strange but I wasn't surprise because I just know we have met before.
Both Ed and I were happy but we didn't cry. I know that isn't typical of me to not tear up or break down in tears. I don't know why but I knew that I felt like I accomplish something really big in life and I felt so proud.


Where was Ed???!!! Oh...Ed, he was there with me. My favorite cheer leader in the world. I would do it with him again any times. I couldn't imagine being alone in a delivery room without him. He told me the progress of the baby, saw the head of Jaynann, and encouraged me to push hard. I didn't yell or swear at him like I thought I would. Everything went wonderful. I only pushed for about half an hour, and within 8 hours of entering the hospital, she came.